Sunday, August 28, 2011

Embracing where I'm at...

{my view while washing dishes}

I'm not gonna lie. I've been fighting a bad attitude for weeks now. My perspective has been about as fuzzy as parts of the picture above. Let me start this story at the beginning.

Where we used to live was a small town that was primarily middle to lower class. I mean, I felt down right highfalutin when I walked into Wal-Mart. Any of y'all that know me in real life, know that can't be further from the truth. I am very much down to earth{when my head's not in the clouds} and casual. The city I now live in is very much the opposite. The main area, if you will, has a ginormous neighborhood with subdivisions consisting of McMansions within itself. Whatever...I was fine when we moved here, having lived in this very house before. That was all before my children went to the local public school...

I take my children and pick them back up from school. I am usually surrounded by Lexus{Lexi-??}, Mercedes, Lincoln's, etc. Normally I'm not a car person, but considering I'm driving an older Plymouth Grand Voyager that is missing 2 hubcaps and the front bumper is held up with zip ties...well, it just feels funny.

I've shared my feelings with a few close friends. One said to me something a friend of her's said to her, "The clothes do not make me, I make the clothes." I thought that was a fabulous quote!! One day as I was sitting in carpool behind, no lie, a Mercedes, a Lexus, and another Mercedes, I quoted to myself, "My car does not make me, I make my car." Then, wouldn't you know it, I had an epiphany!!! It occurred to me, that perhaps these people had insecurities, too. Insecurities, that perhaps wouldn't let them just drive a Toyota, because after all, isn't a Lexus just an expensive Toyota?? Now, I'm not trying to be judgmental in the least if you do drive a "fancy" vehicle. Ever since then though, I haven't felt nearly as embarrassed about what I drive.

I love my little home and I am so thankful for it. I do try to keep that in perspective when I think about the friends my children are making. Most of my children's friends do live in that neighborhood and when I think of birthday parties or future sleepovers, I start to think about the differences in our homes. "Will they think less of us because our home could fit into a small portion of their's??" "What will they think when they drive up and see flaky, peeling paint??" "What will they..." Who cares?? I am so drawn to sweet, older homes and I just want to remain authentic and true to myself. I don't wish to live in a large home. We did live in a big to us home and I couldn't keep it clean!! Why I let the thought of what someone may think bother me, I don't know. I have had to pray to ask God to help me be more thankful for what I do have and less bothered by what I don't, and it has worked!! I sometimes have to ask daily, and to also ask forgiveness for my bad attitude. I seek to "be content in all circumstances" as Paul learned to be. I also keep in mind the quote that Ashley Ann shared, "Comparison is a thief of joy." That is the truth.

Tonight, while washing dishes, I had to get my attitude in check again. I was looking thru what was originally the kitchen window, back into what we so cleverly call "the back room" and was overtaken by how much I really do like this house. Its a great reflection of us. Its not a show home and that is totally okay. It really is. And that is a lovely thing...


Linking up to Life Made Lovely...





12 comments:

Jen~ Lipstick and Laundry said...

Very well written, this verse comes to mind.

Philippians 4:6-9

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

You are such a warm and hospitable person, with a radiant personality, everyone you meet will be drawn to you.

Elise said...

Awww, thanks Jenny!!!

Sarah Fontenot said...

Great post!! I live in a similar subdivision {but in the "slums"...aka the nice apartment complex at the very back of the subdivision where the not so rich live}. I have so many insecurities living here around "those people" but maybe they have insecurities too!

katie said...

We moved away from a very expensive beach town in Orange County, CA and I always felt that way there. It is such a breath of fresh air to be where we are now.

Ashley said...

awesome post!! very well written :)

Amy said...

I have felt this way so often. It is nice to know I am not alone! I remember going to a function and pulling our then ratty, wrecked, very dirty car up among all the fancy cars. And to make it worse, for whatever reason, our car alarm went off and I was so humiliated. Looking back, I realize how ridiculous I was being!

Amy R. said...

It is good to see your thoughts written out for you to go back to later. I love this post and love the verse Jenny reffered to. You never know why you are having these feelings, but it could be so you will be able to relate to a friend or even your children later on when they are struggling with these same insecurities. I'm praying for your confidence to come from God and not from the approval of others...God made you just the way you are and YOU ROCK GIRL!!!

Ashley said...

thank you so much..yes i would LOVE the website!!

hannah singer said...

amen. keep focusing on the lovely! beautiful post. xo

Em @ Bunch of Scrap said...

I had a similar revelation today when I was driving in the "convoy" to and from a field trip. I was admiring all the pretty, new, big, expensive vehicles that all the other parents were driving and was feeling insecure about my Odyssey. Then Tatum and her friend that was riding with us started playing M.A.S.H. {you know that game right?} and it came to the part where they were making their lists of cars and they asked, "what is that car ahead of us?" I answered, "a Hyundai" - so they wrote it down as the "luxury" car they both wanted to end up with. I was smiling... they didn't write "limo" or "Mercedes" they wanted a Hyundai ;)

Heather said...

I love your picture while doing the dishes :)

And it's funny … when I first moved here I had the EXACT same thoughts! And I still struggle with them. I think what you've said here is brilliant, right on the money. You be the light that you are in this crazy world that we live in!

Ruth said...

I have felt the same way so many times. It is difficult when you feel out of place or maybe not good enough. If you dwell on it for too long it does give you a very bad attitude, a pitying attitude. I have to catch myself and remind myself that my worth is not in things. It is in Christ, our family and our home.

Ruth